Divorce, one of the crucial problems in today’s society.Divorce rate increased all over the world, even in the Islamic societies. In recent ‘divorce’ is considered as shame, but now everything gets changed.
Marriage is a beautiful and halal relationship between husband and wife.
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam)
“Marriage is the basis for blessings and children are an abundance of mercy.”
This relation in whom there is no hijab between husband and wife.
“They are libas (i.e. body cover, screen, dress) for you and you are the same for them.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah, Ayah no 187).
Divorce is a legal process, but Islam discourages divorce.
The Messenger of Allah, (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) stated:
“Divorce is the most hated of all lawful (halal) things in the sight of Allah”
(Sunan Abu Dawud, no. 2178).
Ibn Umer reported Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:
“With Allah! The most detestable of all things permitted is divorce”
But unfortunately in our today world, it becomes more frequent than ever before. People considered it as the only solution to cope with their problem.
Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali (Allah have mercy on him) stated:
“The greatest care should be taken to avoid divorce, for, though divorce is permitted, yet Allah disapproves of it. If divorce becomes essential then the woman should be divorced kindly, not through anger or contempt, and not without a valid reason. After divorce a man should give his former wife a present and not announce to others any of her shortcomings”
In past, parents told their daughters that you have to compromise in every situation. But now things are changing. Parents do not teach their girls how to act as a wife, their responsibilities, and raise their children, rights of the woman over the husband. In short they feel no responsibility. In the same manner, they do not teach their sons how to act like a man, act as a head of household, their responsibilities, responsibility to earn halal, and rights of the husband over the wife.
There are many reasons for increased divorce rate, most common of them are:
- Lack of Islamic Education
- Lack of patience\sacrifice\tolerance
- Women Empowerment(NGO’s role)
- Forced marriages
- Joint family system( problems due to In-laws)
- Financial problem
- Husband missing
- Incurable disease
Joint Family System:
Sometimes In-Laws create problems for their daughter in law and sometimes they even manipulate the man to such an extreme that he may end up divorcing her.
Financial problems are also one of the reasons for increased divorce rate. Sometimes husbands fail to fulfill the demands of their wives, which becomes the cause of divorce.
Lack of patience and Women Empowerment:
The rate of divorce is increasing drastically. The main reasons for increased divorce rate are the empowerment of women, lack of patience/tolerance from both sides. In male dominating societies men want their wives to stay at home, look after their children and want them not to think about their jobs. But In today society, most of the active women place their jobs ahead of the interests of the family, and they are less eager to work on their marriages and prefer divorce. And also due to some NGO’s freedom slogan women don’t want to be submissive. Men are dominant physically, socially and financially.
Ibn ‘Umar reports from the Prophet that once a lady came to the Prophet and asked him about the rights of a husband on his wife. He replied: … she should not leave his house without his permission. (Sunan Bayhaqi, No: 14490)
The Holy Qur’an says:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta’ala has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means.” [4:34]
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah
The Messenger of Allah((Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:
If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.
Dowry is a curse that causes increased rate of divorce. The practice of giving dowry (Jahez) is not part of Islam. Parents of daughter have to suffer due to this curse. In today’s world, many people marry their sons in the greed of dowry. Sometimes groom’s family tortured their daughter in law due to this curse and even they burned her.
The Qur’an says:
“Do not eat each other’s money unfairly”. On another occasion the Qur’an says, “O believers! Consume not unjustly property of one another”(Al-Nisa verse 29)
We can say that eating someone else’s money prohibited in Islam.In short, Qur’an does not approve of additional demands of a dowry. Groom or his family cannot force bride’s family to give dowry.
‘Our Prophet (SAW) bought some gifts for Hazrat Fatima (RA). But it was not considered as dowry, because our Prophet (SAW) ordered Hazrat Bilal (RA) to sell the armour of Hazrat Ali (RA), and then that money was used to buy things for Hazrat Fatima (RA)’
Forced marriages are also one of the reasons for increased rate of divorce. Forced marriages are not part of Islam. Male and female consent should betake before accepting any proposal.
Abu Hurairah narrated that: The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:
“A matron should not be given in marriage until she is consulted, and a virgin should not be given in marriage until her permission is sought, and her silence is her permission.” (Jami` at- Tirmidhi Volume 2, Book 6, Hadith 1107)
It was narrated that Abu Hurairah said:
“The Messenger of Allah said: ‘An orphan girl should be consulted with regard to marriage, and if she remains silent, that is her permission. If she refuses then she is not to be forced.’” (Sunan an-Nasa’i Volume 4, Book 26, Hadith 3272)
It is clear that forcing to marry someone against their permission in Islam is prohibited.
To overcome the issue of increased rate of divorce, people should follow Quranic Principles. Parents should teach their children that how to cope with marital problems. Women should seek jobs with the permission of their husbands. Husband and wife both should fulfill the rights and responsibilities of each other. Forced marriages should be avoided.
In a nutshell, we should follow Islamic Principles, we should give our children Islamic education besides secular education.