One of the most important decisions in our life is who we marry. It’s a decision that will affect our future happiness, spirituality, growth, and success. In Islam, we’re blessed to have guidelines as well as Istikhara Dua for marriage to advise us on choosing the perfect match.

And marry those among you who are single and the Salihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your slaves and maid-servants. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people). — Qur’an 24[An-Nur]:32

Traits to consider in choosing a spouse

Righteousness

Allah guided us to choose from Salehoon. A distinctive trait that is found in people who are truthful and pious servants to our creator. They are on a lifetime quest to seek the pleasure of their Lord. And when they aspire to please God, they respectfully deal with their spouse. 

Piety will make a man treat his wife fairly and with dignity. He knows he is accountable before Allah on her upkeep. It’s this quality that will make a wife humble and obedient to her husband, to please her Lord. Two righteous people will most probably create a pious home and raise noble offspring for a better community.

Abu Hurairah narrated that:

The Messenger of Allah said: “When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and abounding discord (Fasad).

Tirmidhi
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her piety. Select the pious, may you be blessed!”.

Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Attraction

While the quality of attraction might be relevant for every person. The Prophet (PBUH) stressed on this trait.

On the authority of Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah:

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: ‘If one of you proposes marriage to a woman, if he can look at her to see that which will encourage him to go ahead and marry her, then let him do so.’ 

In other words, choose a spouse that will make your heart happy whenever you look at him/her.

Perform Istikhara Dua for marri

How to perform the Istikhara prayer and Istikhara Dua for Marriage

First, do your wudu, then pray two rakaa. After doing your tashahod and salam, recite the istikhara Duaa with your heart. Say it wholeheartedly while believing that God is all-knowing of your past, present, and future. And He is the best to handle your affairs.

Istikhara Dua for marriage

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ وَأَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ الْعَظِيمِ ، فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلَا أَقْدِرُ ، وَتَعْلَمُ وَلَا أَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتَ عَلَّامُ الْغُيُوبِ ، اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ خَيْرٌ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي أَوْ قَالَ عَاجِلِ أَمْرِي وَآجِلِهِ فَاقْدُرْهُ لِي وَيَسِّرْهُ لِي ثُمَّ بَارِكْ لِي فِيهِ وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي أَوْ قَالَ فِي عَاجِلِ أَمْرِي وَآجِلِهِ فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّي وَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ وَاقْدُرْ لِيَ الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِي بِهِ

O Allaah I request of You with Your knowledge, and by Your Power, I seek capability, and I ask of you of your great favour, since indeed You are the One who is able while I am not, and You know, and I do not, and You are the One who knows the unseen.

O Allaah if You know that this matter – here he mentions his need – is right for me in this world and for my living and of the issues of my Hereafter – or he said, for my affairs now and the future – then decree it for me and make it easy for me and bless it for me.

And if You know that this matter is evil for me in this world and for my life and of the issues of my Hereafter – or he said for my affairs now and the relationships of my future – then turn it away from me and turn me away from it, and decree goodness for me where ever it may be and make me pleased with it.

[Taken from: ‘Kalimah Tayyib’ by Shaykh-ul-Islaam Ibn Taymeeyah p.115, collected by Bukhari (d.256 A.H.)]

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