Marriage is the most acceptable state for us. It is also clear that marriage should be a peaceful and happy state. Unfortunately, for many husbands and wives this is not true. Spouse abuse becomes so common between them and then marriage becomes a place of pain and suffering instead of the place of relaxation. Spouse abuse exists in two manners: physical and psychological.
There is no place in Islam for spouse abuse. There is no doubt that Islam liberated women and contributed positively toward the restoration of women’s dignity and rights. Islam holds women in a very high and noble position as mothers, as wives, as sisters, and as daughters. If we compare the situation of women before the advent of Islam in various corners of globe then at that time spouse abuse was so common. But in Islam we can see the huge difference in the wife’s rights and status.
“And among His signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed Signs for a people who reflect” (30:21)
Emotional and Mental Abuse:
The most common form of spouse abuse is emotional and mental abuse. In Muslim homes, this includes verbal threats to divorce the wife, to remarry, or to take the kids away if she does not do exactly as she is told. Psychological abuse can lead to physical abuse. Physical spouse abuse includes pushing, slapping, punching, kicking and beating. Spouse abuse also includes refusing to help wife when she is sick or injure.
In spouse abuse some Muslim husbands abuse their wives as a result of frustration resulting from economic hardship, problems with children or an inferiority complex.
“Retain them in kindness or release them in kindness. But do not retain them to their hurt so that you transgress (the limits). If anyone does that he wrongs his own soul. Do not take God’s instructions as a jest” (Qur’an 2:231).
While caring for the abused women, the trained Muslims should counsel the abusers about the spouse abuse separately. Making them aware of the reasons they abuse, of the fact that their actions are truly harming their wives, that such behavior is not included in Islam. And ALLAH will hold them accountable.
Hazrat Muhammad ﷺ said:
“The best amongst you in the sight of God are those who are the best to their wives.”