When is it the right time to get married? As a single Muslim you may be wondering this, or perhaps you are a parent who is wondering if their son/daughter is ready for marriage. As in all aspects of our life, we must refer to the Qur’an and Sunnah.
It is narrated in Al-Bukhaari (5066) and Muslim (1400) from Ibn Mas‘ood, who said: We were with the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), young men who had nothing of wealth. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to us: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a shield for him.”
From this hadith, we can gather some guidelines in regards to marriage. In Islam, a man or woman is ready for the wedding once they are both physically and mentally mature. They must understand the responsibilities of marriage and the rights of the spouse. Furthermore, the man must be able to provide a decent living for his wife. Once those conditions are met, marriage can become an option.
As both parents and children, approaching the topic of marriage may be awkward. However, there is nothing to feel embarrassed about as this is an average and quite a critical phase of life. As a child who is interested in getting married, you can inform your parents of your capabilities as a married person.
As a man, this would mean demonstrating that you can make a decent living, enough to support a family and that you have the emotional and intellectual maturity required to be a leader of the house.
As a woman, you should demonstrate emotional and mental maturity to care for your future husband and family. For a parent to approach this topic with their children, they can also state the qualities mentioned above to their children and inform them that they should begin considering marriage as an option.
Being ready for marriage is not necessarily a checklist situation. It is also important to reflect on who you are right now as a person and who you want to be. As well as when you want to be that person-are their life goals you want to meet before marriage or after the wedding? Marriage requires a lot of compromises, so it is important to know what you are willing to sacrifice and what you are unable to. There is also this collective mentality of “finding my other half.” This statement insinuates that you are incomplete without a spouse. A husband will not complete you. You need to find that on your own. Maybe a spouse can help you find it. But such a journey of self-discovery is one that you should take on your own. In short, once you are emotionally and physically mature, able to meet the financial and emotional requirements of marriage, then you are ready to make marriage an option. Most importantly, know yourself and know what you want in your future companion. May Allah (SWT) make our spouses and our children a coolness to our eyes. Ameen.