Marriage is a life commitment and an ongoing relationship and may continue in the hereafter, Insha Allah. Finding a right partner is always challenging, especially who can prove to a be a perfect Muslim husband in future? Islam gives us some guidelines in this regard. If we follow these guidelines, we will be able to find a perfect Muslim man.
Here are some general and specific Islamic guidelines to consider if you meet some specific spouse in a Masjid, conference, your local community, charity dinner, or some other event.
A Practicing Muslim
The Prophet (PBUH) guided the women that before you a choose a man for marriage, first and foremost thing to look for is that he should be a real practicing Muslim. Every bearded brother is not a practicing Muslim, nor everyone with a short thobe is a practicing Muslim, then how would you identify a practicing Muslim? Deal with him!! If he has a beard or short thobe, but he lies or backbites, or he cheats, or he is useless, he envies people, looks down at people, thinks of himself as superior; is he a PRACTICING BROTHER?! NO, he’s not.
If you want to check whether a potential spouse is practicing, visit the Masjid he lives nearby. Go to the sheik and ask if he prays Salah in the congregation. Parents need to confirm that you are marrying your daughter to someone who is not only perfect in religious commitment, but also in character. The Prophet (PBUH) said:
If there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then give (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him in marriage. [Narrated by al-Tirmidhi]
Having Best Character
Having best character means he should be brave, generous and kind hearted. The worst thing a sister could do is marrying a selfish person who doesn’t pay until you take a pinch of his blood. Your life will become horrible like this. That is why when one of the female companions came to the Prophet (PBUH), so the Prophet (PBUH) could advise her whom to marry; the Prophet (PBUH) forbade her to marry the selfish person.
Fatimah bint Qays(RA) went to the Prophet (PBUH) seeking marital advice when both Mu’awiyah Ibn Abu Sufyan and Abu Jahm had proposed to her. The Prophet (PBUH) told her,
“Mu’awiyah is stingy and tight-fisted, and Abu Jahm beats his women.” So marry Usamah instead. [Narrated by Muslim, Abu Dawud, At-Tirmidhi, A Nisai, and Ibn Majah]
Another important thing in character is tolerance. Never marry someone who is impulsive and gets angry quickly and then regrets later on.
Choose a Strong and Honest Man
As Allah says in the Holy Quran:
O my father! Hire him! Verily, the best of men for you to hire is the strong, the trustworthy.
(Surah Al-Qasas, Verse 26)
A potential ideal husband should be secure and trustworthy because you are entrusting him with your honor and your flesh by giving your daughter to him in marriage.
A Muslim man shouldn’t spread the secrets of the house. Speaking of your personal relations and bedroom secrets is a sin.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
On the Day of Judgment, some of the worst of people in their status with Allah will be a man who has intimacy with his wife and then spreads her secrets. [Narrated by Muslim (2597 & 2598)]
We see nowadays we find a lot of men who indulge in these talks and claim to be having so-called men tell, is forbidden in Islam.
Fairness and Justice
Truth and fairness is a critical characteristic while looking for a good Muslim husband. That is why one of the salaf al-Hasan said:
Marry her to the one who fears Allah, for he will be kind to her if he loves her and he will not oppress her when he is angry with her.
So, even if a good Muslim husband hates his wife, even if she is ugly; he will still be just with her because he fears Allah.
Well Dressed and Well Groomed Person
Try to choose someone who dresses well and who has a good scent; not necessarily wearing Gucci or Lemaire. Marry someone who looks presentable and who smells good because this will be with you till the end of time. The first thing the Prophet (PBUH) used to do when he entered the house was to use the Siwaak to clean his mouth. Ibn Abbas (RA), one of the Prophets companions, used to take excellent care of himself. And whenever His companions talked to Him; He said: As I want my wife to look good for me, I like to look good for her too.
Honoring Your Family
Try to choose someone who would honor your family; who would respect your father and mother. Choose someone who would respect your parents just like you respect them.
Most of the marriages nowadays don’t continue because we forget the central aspect of Islam while choosing a Muslim husband. May Allah help us and guide us in finding the right spouse for ourselves who would be our partner in this world and if Allah wills; in Jannah too. In that Allah. At nikah halal, we promise to provide you the best search experience to find the perfect Muslim husband in your neighborhood.