Marriage is the only legitimate or halal way to indulge in intimacy between a man and a woman. Islam takes a middle of the road position to sexual relations, it neither condemns it like certain religions, nor does it allow it freely. Islam urges us to control and regulate our desires, whatever they may be so that we remain dignified and not become like animals.
The Qur’an described this relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms.
“Among His signs is [the fact] that He has created spouses for you among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has planted love and mercy between you; in that are signs for people who reflect.”[Quran 20:30]
All researchers are in contract that marriage is something recommended (Mustahab) and called for in Islam. Several took Islamic marriage as compulsory (wajib) for those with the ability based on the Prophet’s statement:
“Whoever has the ability should marry for it is better in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. Whoever is not able, let him fast for it is for him a restraint.” [Al-Bukhari]
Deprived of any uncertainty, marriage is part of the social agenda of Islam and the objective it to maximize marriage and to conflict “single-hood” as much as possible. This means that if marriage begins decreasing for whatever reason such as excessive dowries, monetary injustice, etc. then these evils must be opposed in defense of marriage. If polygamy is ignored and not done suitably, this will create a number of single women and a condition which requires social effort to correct.
Likewise, if polygamy is to excess by some individuals. it will produce an excess of single men another situation which must be corrected. The raising children in such a way which promotes marriage and raises both men and women knowledgeable of their roles and duties within the family. All of this can be found in Allah’s command to the Muslims as a whole to maximize marriage in islam among us:
“And marry off the single among you and the righteous ones among your male and female slaves. If they are poor, Allah will enrichen them from His bounties and Allah is expansive, knowing.” [Quran 24:32]
Welfare’s of Marriage:
The love of Allah is required in looking for to have children. Allah has announced this as the means by which mankind usually and this Ummah explicitly will continue to exist. Allah said:
“Mothers nurse their babies two whole years for those who wish to complete their nursing. Upon the one for whom the baby was born is her food and her clothing in equitable and proper terms. No soul will be emburdened beyond its ability.
No mother may be harmed on account of her child nor is any father by his child and the heir chargeable in the same way. If the two parents] decide on weaning by mutual agreement and consultation, there is no blame on them.
And if you decide on a wet-nurse for your children, there is no blame on you provided you pay what you offered equitably and properly. And fear Allah and know that Allah sees well all that you do.” [Quran 2:233]
The love of Prophet Muhammad (SAW) is also required in looking for to have children because he (SAW) said:
“Marry the loving and the fertile for I will outdo the nations with you [r numbers]. (In another version: “…for I will outdo the prophets with you [r numbers] on Qiyama.”)
With looking for children is also the looking for of the great blessing of a virtuous offspring who makes dua for you after your death or the intervention of a child who dies before reaching adulthood. From Abi Sa’id that the women said to the Prophet Muhammad (SAW), “Reserve for us a day.” So he (SAW) preached to them and said,
“Any woman who had three children die will find them to be a protection for them from the fire.” One woman asked, “And two?” He (SAW) said, “And two [as well].”
Other Welfare’s of Marriage in Islam
- Protecting oneself from Shaitan by filling one’s desires and giving oneself break and relief from the world by the two spouses enjoying each other’s company.
- Exercise of self-discipline and battling the nafs training it in duty and safekeeping by fulfilling all responsibilities toward one’s family, being persistent and forbearing with their character and putting up with their irritations. Above all, the Muslim man must fight and strive for their progress in Islam and managing them to the straight path of the deen.
- He must struggle to make from the lawful for their sake and to contribute in the raising of the children on the best of character. These are acts of very high status and of very high reward from Allah. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said:
“Anything you spend on your family will be a source of reward [from Allah], even a morsel of food which you raise to your wife’s mouth.”
Get married with whom?
Allah also gives us freedom and urges us to:
“Marry the women of your choice.” [Quran 4:3]
Choose the righteous partner,
“This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous women.” [Sahih Muslim 10/56]
No-one is a suitable partner for the good, believing woman except a good, believing man; and no-one is a suitable partner for the wayward, immoral woman but a wayward, immoral man, as Allah has said:
Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure, and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity. [Quran 24:26]
This does not mean that the Muslim woman or man should completely ignore the matter of physical appearance. It is their right to marry a person for whom his/her heart may be filled with love, and who is pleasing to both in appearance and in conduct. Appearance should not be neglected at the expense of inner nature.
A woman should choose a man who is attractive to her in all aspects, one who will gain her admiration and respect. The true Muslim is never amazed by external appearances. In order to achieve the great goal of strengthening the marriage bond, and establishing a stable family life, it is essential to choose the right partner in the first place.
Conditions of Marriage in Islam
Marriage can also represent a test or be afflicted with some harmful situations.
- The worst of them is failing to seek sustenance from the lawful. If that becomes difficult, the husband may become tempted to reach his hand into the haram.
- Falling short with regard to the rights of women and being patient with their character and their annoyances. In that there is a great danger because the man is the “shepherd” in the household and is to be questioned about those under his care. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said:
“Verily, woman was created from a rib and she will never stay for you on a straight way. If you get enjoyment from her, you get enjoyment while she still has her crookedness but if you insist on straightening her you will break her. And “breaking” of her is divorce.”
- All of you are guardians and will be questioned about your responsibilities. The Imam is a guardian and will be questioned about his responsibilities. The man is a guardian of his family and he will be questioned about his responsibilities.
- The woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and she will be questioned about her responsibilities. The servant is a guardian of his boss’s property and he will be questioned about his responsibilities. So all of you are guardians and will be questioned about your responsibilities. [Al-Bukhari]
- For ones family to be a distraction from the remembrance of Allah such that he spends his days and nights enjoying his family and fails to make time for his heart to ponder the hereafter and to work for it. Allah said:
“O you who believe, let not your wealth nor your children divert you from the remembrance of Allah. And whoever does that are indeed those in loss.”[Quran 63:9]
State of affairs for marrying:
For a valid marriage certain conditions must be met.
Consent of both parties :
One of the conditions of a valid marriage is agreement of the couple. The islamic marriage ceremony (nikah) is performed by a lawful Islamic authority. The procedure of the religious ceremony itself is simple. Once the marriage (nikah) forms are filled out, and the nikah is publicly announced and witnessed, the contract is legal. The person officiating recites the nikah sermon which was recited by the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and questions for the agreement of both parties.
And give the women (on marriage) their Mehr as a free gift. [Quran 4:4]