The main achievement of Islamic Marriage is perceived as the moral worth of the partner. The perfect Muslim couple get married with the accountable attitude of a person forming a family on the best possible basis of love and joint sympathy and not of fascination over attractiveness, desire for wealth. The Quran defined the Islamic Marriage affiliation in these terms:
“Among His signs is the fact that he has created spouses from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquillity with them; and he has put love and mercy between you. In that are signs for people who reflect.” [Qur’an 30:21].
There are some husband duties towards their wives commanded by Allah. The Holy Quran says:
“The women have almost the same rights over men as men have certain rights over the women in kindness.”
Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said:
“Best among you are those who behave well with their women.”
In another Hadith, the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) is said:
“No believing man should have enmity and hatred against a believing woman. If he dislikes certain habits of that woman, there would certainly be some virtues in her too.”
The meaning of this Hadith is that the both good and bad habits must be found in woman. Man should not continuously talk about her bad habits only but he should also appreciate her good habits.
Responsibilities of Both:
There are certain husband duties that men owe to the women and these responsibilities should be fully respected.
- In order to bring peace and prosperity in the married life, both the wife and the husband should take care of each other sentiments and emotions. The anger of husband brings to the wife nothing but tension, depression and confusion.
- Similarly, the anger of the wife brings to the husband nothing but disappointment, mental torture, frustration and bitterness. It is, therefore, advisable to both husband and wife to be patient and compassionate in their dealings.
- The husband should never appreciate the beauty and other merits of strange woman in front of his wife. This may lead to create jealousy and suspicion in the mind of his wife. If a man cannot tolerate that his wife should wrongly be associated with another man, the wife also cannot tolerate another woman to share her husband. The woman cannot listen to praise and admiration of another woman through the lips of her husband in any way.
- The husband should implement this couplet of Sa’di of Shiraz in their life. He says:
“Strictness and pampering are very good things but at appropriate times”.
For example, the surgeon cuts open the wound but at the same time apply soothing ointment. Likewise, the husband should not be very strict nor very soft. A middle path always brings good results.
- Every husband has the obligation to provide for the sustenance of his wife. He should always bear in mind that this woman has disassociated herself from her parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends and has joined him to share all the ups and downs of life. Hence, it has become his duty to look after her basic needs and comforts. Such people who would not perform this duty would be dealt with severely in the Court of Allah. The Holy Quran says:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means.” [4:34]
- The husband should satisfy his wife’s physical needs. The Shareeah has not prescribed any limit for this. But, he has to ensure that woman’s minimum sexual requirements are met so that she may not commit a sin by eyeing other men in order to quench her thirst. There are certain men who, after marriage, do not take care of the sexual needs of their wives. Such people are great sinners and will be severely convicted in the Court of Allah.
- The husband should not beat up his wife without her committing a most severe crime. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) has said:
“Nobody should beat up his wife as he does beat up his slave. He should make love with her later some time.”
Conditions for Punishing Wife:
The Books of Fiqha mentioned that the husband can punish his wife for four things:
- If the husband orders his wife to decorate herself with ornaments and legitimate make-up but she disobeys and remains dirty.
- If the husband invites her to bed and she refuses without any legitimate reason.
- If she does not take bath to purify herself.
- If she abstain from performing Salaah without a legitimate reason.
In the above circumstances, the husband should first persuade the wife. If she does not agree to comply with his requests, he may threaten her. If she still does not obey him, he can beat her barring her face. He should not beat her so severely to the extent of a fracture or a severe wound.
Things to make Wife Happy:
- The husband, while setting out on a tour, should go to his wife and informally seek her consent in a loving manner and as a matter of goodwill. He may ask her to invoke the Allah that the journey may prove safe and beneficial for him. Similarly, while returning from the tour he should bring some exclusive gifts for her. This gesture would encourage the wife to think with satisfaction that my husband loves me to the extent that even if he was away engaged in his business activities, he remembered me. Thus, a simple initiative on the part of the husband will win over the heart of his wife.
- If the woman brings anything from her father’s house or prepares herself and presents it to the husband, he should express gratitude and appreciate it. This will please her. The husband should never reject or discard or criticize any gift offered by his wife.
- If the wife falls sick, the husband should dedicate look after her. He should take extra pain in her nursing, feeding, etc. This little service will win over the heart of the wife and she will be very grateful to the husband.
- The husband should express his full confidence and trust in his wife and, to prove this, he should hand over the domain of the house to her so that she may feel dignified and involved. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) has said that the woman is the guardian and caretaker of her husband’s house and Allah will take an account from her in this regard on the Day of Judgement.
- The very benefit of relying on the wife would be that she would feel herself responsible for a vital department in the set up of the household. This will give the husband an opportunity to freely think of other things regarding the promotion and progress of his business.
- should never share the secrets of her wife with others. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) has said:
“Worst is the person in the sight of Allah who goes to his wife and then discloses her secrets and lowers her status in the eyes of others”.
Common Husband Duties:
- The Husband should be neat and clean as he expects the same from his wife. He should look smart, dynamic and a lovable person. husband duties
- If there is some difference of opinion between the husband and wife, the husband should not make a hurry to pronounce divorce to her. He should exercise restraint. After his anger subsides, he should ponder over the entire matter with a cool mind. He may seek the advice of his elders in this matter and decide whether or not there is a chance of reconciliation and settlement. If a point of understanding and reconciliation emerges, he should act accordingly and refrain from breaking the wedlock. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) has said that the divorce is the most disliked things among the permissible things in the sight of Almighty Allah.
- The Husband should not behave as a miser in meeting the materialistic requirements of his wife nor should he go for extravagance in her maintenance. He should define his expenditure as per his capacity.
- The husband should not confine his wife within the four walls of his house. She should be taken to her parents and relatives from time to time provided these visits do not bring any trouble to the peace of his house.
- IF a man possesses more than one wife, it is obligatory on him to do justice with them. There should be equal treatment among wives in respect of sustenance, living conditions and personal attention. He has to spend equal time with every one of them. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) has said that
if a man has two wives and does not treat them equally, he would be raised on the Day of Judgment with half his body paralyzed. husband duties
- Husband faces some trouble because of the misbehavior of his wife, he should try to avoid her and keep patience. Woman’s arrogance and foolishness is a natural phenomenon. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said:
“Woman has been created from the bent rib of Adam (AS). If somebody tries to make the bent bone straight, it will rather break instead of becoming straight”.
Similarly, if someone tries to set his wife right, there will be more a chance of separation instead of improvement in her nature.