The Quran highlights the responsibility of parents in such severe terms that it is stated instantly after obey Allah Almighty. Allah says,
“Your Lord has commanded that you should worship no one except Him, that you should be kind and promising toward your parents. If one of them or both of them reach an old age, then do not avoid them and do not say “uff” to them. Speak to them with a noble language. Lower the wing of humbleness out of compassion for them. Say: Our Lord! Have mercy upon them the way they showed mercy to me when I was small. ” (Surah Isra (23-24))
The translation of this ayat explains that Allah wants us to recognize the role of parents in our lives even when they are old which means even after we have reached adulthood and are now in a place to guide them. We must still treat them kindhearted.
To start with Nikkah, or Marriage, it’s the individual choice between the two persons who want to get wedded and live their lives together without any outside force. The suitable matter is therefore among the husband and wife, not among the two groups of in-laws. Because the nikkah between the husband and wife will technically be lawful even if the parents disagree to it. Though the nikkah is still valid but will it be blessed? This is the bigger question.
Once a person questioned the Prophet Muhammad (SAW), “Who should I be kind to?”
The Prophet (SAW) answered, “Your Mother.”
The person then questioned, “Then who?”
The Prophet (SAW) answered a second time, “Your Mother.”
The person then questioned a third time and was given the same answer.
Upon the fourth time, the Prophet answered, “Your Father.”
This hadith shows the consideration and ethical support to one’s mother at all eras. Words cannot begin to describe the dedication of a mother to her child starts from conception to upbringing. the mother has unquestionably gone through hard times. Allah mentions these realities numerous times in the Quran to ensure that we do not forget what our mothers have gone through and skilled for our happiness.
Place of Father:
The Prophet also said,
“The desire of Allah is in the desire of the father, and the anger of Allah is in the anger of the father.”
This hadith shows that the father also plays important role in the life of muslim. It is irrational for anybody to accept that the seeking of blessing of parents at the time of marriage is pointless.
However marriage between two companions without the clear blessing of the parents is still valid. The bride and groom are completely doing themselves uncountable mistake. Parents play important role in the lives of their kids, and for the particular bride and groom to escape seeking the blessing of their parents will result in themselves that they leave without of a huge gift.
Parents are Blessings:
It’s the astronomical fact that blessing of parents must be in our lives. We should look out for the well being of our immediate descendants. If our parents have deny for giving us their blessing, then they are basically saying no to our children grandparents.
Similarly, if our parents do not bless our wedding there is a chance that our family member also will not bless our marriage on excuse of that you annoyed our mother and father and now our children will also be left without aunts, uncles, and cousins.
Role of Family:
It is a proved that direct family members play an important role in one’s life. Don’t assume that you or your family will live in a separate place that is far from your family members. Your kids need their relatives in every single situation. You are putting your family in awkward situation where they are in lonely place which is far from close relations which equals to zulm, or injustice.
After the nikkah, the parents do not have any right to interfere in the relationship between the wife and husband. On the same side, husband and wife should comprehend that they need their parent’s blessing in their lives. Thus, it is good enough for Muslim partners to make sure that their parents are on panel with their marriage, and parents must participate in the nikkah. This is constantly been part of Muslim empire. This is the technique of the Sunnah.